TWO SEATS
and why we are here
Is there a before … before the Big Bang?
Science believes there was moment when sub sub sub sub etc, elements came together. The moment leading indeed to the explosive event.
The come-together, or colliding, moment, that is an ever so slight tipping point. The moment like when a spinning pointed object finally falls to one side, perhaps like a pencil.
To which side it tipped, and how, we do not know precisely. However that it did not fall equally to both sides, is the real point. And of course, an object spinning on a point, if symmetrical on all sides, cannot fall to both sides but just one. Thus the fundamental “unequal” nature of the moment, that led to the Big Bang.
The “unequal” , that finds no description in modern scientific terms. Otherwise would not have been given, by scientists, the metaphor of a pencil spinning on a point.
However can we assign a symbolic means of understanding the “unequal” moment. The simplest way is by the colors of black and white. Black and white that are not equal, but non-existent with the other, thus equal in that sense.
Another way to understand this, and another metaphor I present, is the moment when Jesus is said to have walked on water. Did Jesus call forth the moment, or did the moment, and field and stage, call him?
An apt way to look at the beginning before the beginning, given that it evokes the elements, including water. But also its other state, ice.
Yet in the murky before, it was likely more cold than it was hot. It is the Big Bang that was extremely hot. Yet before that, by the logic of hot-explosion, was it not-hot. I.e., it was cold.
Thus can we (accurately) speculate that the moment of walking on water, was in fact, the moment of walking on ice.
However again, was it the miraculous stage or the miraculous person, which came first?
We return to the spinning object on a point — the point and moment so infinitessmally sub sub sub yet immeasurably vast.
By the logic of our modern day scientific understanding of things, there is a degree of pre-determination in the world. Some things are impossible to manifest how we wish. E.g., it is not possible to wish one’s self to be born in a different set of circumstances than we were born, and for that to come true.
However in that immeasurably vast and inscrutable point and moment, the one before the existence of humans or the earth we live on, the pencil fell in one direction.
That one direction led to the equal / unequal paradox that is the human race.
The human race with a male and female. The two who are different, but equal in being indispensable to the other.
The one direction, that led to our unequal earth. Unequal in its distribution of livable states, i.e., in land. The unequal geographic distribution of land across planet earth. And to state the obvious, land that is the only truly livable stage, for humans.
This is not to say that some parts of earth created superior human beings than others. Before the Before is not a discussion about anthropologic or biologic evolution. It is about the moment the pencil fell in one direction, without which, the Universe would not have come to be.
The pre-universe that would have remained an equal world of infinite possibilities, a perfect field of equidistant points and elements and impulses, infinitum.
However as we know, equidistant and equal is not how the Universe, nor the earth, turned out. Nor did humans.
How specifically then might we understand Before the Before, as it regards humans?
As there are over 9 billion humans on earth today, and billions who came before, we winnow it down to a few. If anything, to simplify our understanding of things.
And because we have reached a singular moment in the timeline, from then to now, and the sub sub sub sub could explode a new way.
For this, a select few humans have been called forth, to turn us back from the edge. As I will boldly say, these persons were pre-”written”, though words are an imperfect analogy including since there were no language-making humans back then.
However was there black and white, the colors which was are not about race (again, since humans non-existent then). The colors nonetheless we can use to represent a handful of persons today. Those upon whom rest the most pivotal matters today, and most important question: will we continue, as a human race?
However again, of all those points black and white Before the Before, and that small set of persons today, the pencil fell just in one direction.
The one direction, signified by the coming together of two. Thus amid that small handful, were indeed just two. The moment of impact. The impact when understood in its most sub of sub sub sub subs … was not about quarks, protons, electrons, etc.
It was about the most basic thing of all, which whatever the elemental composition, was simply two.
Thus did those two, lead later, to two. Male and female.
Indeed, in the billions of years, and innumerable billions, trillions, exponentials of trillions of elements and dynamics and forces and galaxies since, did the two of Before of the Before, become the two of Male and Female.
Genesis, the debut of that moment (Genesis, as described in the Christian religion). However in fact was that moment the culmination of a very path before. When before, the Before the Before.
Thus while we tend to think of “the most elemental unit” as One, we fail to consider that nothing would exist without Two. Most of all not the human race.
Not either the Big Bang. By definition of bang, something collided. Some things actually, plural.
Thus at the nano nano nano sub sub sub moment when the pencil fell, it came down to two.
At that moment, the Big Bang, and all else, that went into play.
Today, we risk another kind of collision. A potential explosive moment, with the world now barreling towards WWIII.
Several who have nuclear weapons, but the collision that just takes one. The moment science meets the human hand, to press a devastating button.
A moment of no return, and the world that would end right there.
The moment we hope not to reach. The preventable moment, by thinking back to the collision when it began.
More so, the moment just before. Before the Before, when two collided. When the pencil fell, and the universe that began.
How it fell, the answer that has eluded us. The answer as elusive as how Adam and Eve could return to the Garden. The Garden they had to leave, after the moment we most know as the Fall, and Adam and Eve who were then expelled.
Thus do we return to the Fall - the one before Genesis.
Before the Big Bang, when the pencil fell, because of two.
But which for whom, we are not quite sure. All we know is that the pencil fell.
Billions and trillions and innumerable elements later, Adam who rose. Adam, from the ground on two feet and legs,
The ground that enabled him to do so — or Adam that enabled himself, regardless. The ground that was mud, and the outcome that could have gone either way.
However, was Adam more than the story of muddy ground. There, on the other side of the continental ground, that is, on the horizon that is East, was Eve.
Eve who also stood on two feet and two legs. Eve simultaneous to Adam — but perhaps there was sequence, of which came first. The mystery that comes down to the nano nano nano sub sub sub. The moment of who rose first, or who fell first.
Adam and Eve, not quite sure of the same. Adam and Eve, they knew to be simultaneous to each other. The precise sequence they left to be debated, by the histories thereafter.
The debate by religions, theologians, non-believers, atheists, politicians, pundits, laymen. The debate that simultaneously thrills, delights and enrages, and the earth that churns and burns for it.
Churns and turns, and wars and societies, and more wars and societies, and peoples. All that we have, all that we’ve lost — all by one inscrutable moment.
All that we have that we could lose, forever. And then would be left with nothing.
Nothingness, for not recognizing what came before. An inscrutable, ever so slightly unequal in one direction. And then Universe was the created, unequal thereafter. It means to say, not evenly distributed.
So became the same of Earth. Unequal in its uneven distribution, land and sea. The unequal fact seen in land itself, and its largest continental stage, called today Eurasia.
Eurasia, the largest remnant of the ancient land of earth, when there was only piece of land on earth, called Pangaea.
The rest of earth, by deduction, was the state of not-land. I.e., the state of water. The Pangaea times when humans did not yet exist, include to debate against each other, where they all came from. The Pangaea times when time the greatest debate - the war if you call it — was simply the one of Land versus Sea.
The human race, upon their eventual appearance on earth, chose one over the other. Humans that chose not to habitat the sea. Humans that chose land instead, the decision as self-evident as solid ground.
Land, upon which their decisions would be less murky than they would be, in watery sea. The sea, too reminding of whence they came: the sky and space through which two had traveled, for far too long.
The two who had traveled, since the first moment. From when they collided, then were instantly pulled apart. The two who crossed the Universe to find each other, and reunite.
The Universe that seemed to conspire against them. The Universe, somehow forgetting yet unavoidably reminded, how it began, and why. In push and pull, catapulted the two in separate directions.
The two who kept searching anyhow, and the Universe that continued to conspire. By it, did the Universe also continue to form. Thus was it emboldened, in stars, galaxies, neutrons.
And nebulas, supernovae, protons, electrons, gravity, black holes. The two that remained unconcerned who rose or fell, first.
The two undeterred, and determined, to return.
To the time and space, before? Before the before, when time had not yet even begun? Space that did not exist either.
Somewhere, sometime along the way, the two who did not fail to leave a mark. And thus did the Universe finally relent.
The inevitable, unavoidable return of the two, to each other. Thus did Earth begin to form.
Earth the planet, for two to meet again. There did they seek their table, and to complete it, together.
The two unconcerned, who came first, Eve or Adam; or which came first, Adam or mud. The self-evident ground, understood from the moment he stood up and walked it.
The moment we missed, in misinterpreting sequence in Genesis.
Thus later did arrive another. The one who stood up and walked, this time over ice.
Jesus who made the moment, or the moment made for Jesus, to tell us about it after.
And where was Mary, and why did she matter. For our understanding, but foremost and first, why she mattered to Jesus.
Jesus who knew the single direction, upon which the Universe began.
And how it compelled Adam. Adam who traveled east, where was found the Garden of Eden.
Eve, simultaneously moved, and looked West. By fact of the Days of Genesis, both who were aware of both directions. The directions marking earth’s rotation, marking Day and Night, and Night and Day.
Pangaea, formed by the same dynamic. The single vast continent formed and distributed, mostly in one direction — indeed the direction of rotation. Today seen in the the largest remnant of Pangaea, the continent Eurasia.
The continent, over all other continents, spanning furthest by east and west, and west and east. Thus did Jerusalem occur within.
As did Migdal, the city where was born Mary Magdalene. Migdal, on the northern shore of Galilee.
Mary who, like Jesus, rose up in amazement. For having seen the water formed into solid? For knowing Jesus walked upon it? And when did he know that too, and who did so first?
The solid water, reminding both of a long ago time, a time pre-elemental.
Times pre-formation, when male and female were not yet debated. Nor even the war of Pangaea and the sea.
However was it a time of great cold, colder than the glacial ages. Times pre-glacial yet made the glacial ages, later. The ages wherein survived the shape of the continent, by east and west and west and east. The same continent wherein occurred, Jerusalem.
Thus were they amazed, and reminded — times when in a nano nano instant, the fall. And then the collision. Who fell first, or rose, neither who was concerned. Jesus and Mary Magdalene, like Adam and Eve before, simultaneous to each other. The infinitesimal sequence that paled in compare to Before the Before.
Thus the question, which one that drew the other, first? The question as unanswerable as what brings two souls, two destinies, together. The question as deep and infinite, as the black hole bringing all matter to it. The question as unknowable as why the black hole formed, to begin with.
Jesus who walked the water, and Mary who rose too, amazed. Both the same, both equal. Both unconcerned, both falling the same.
Adam who walked himself by two legs, Eve who rose to the moment looking West. Eve who looked east, and across the way could see the mud. And from before it was mud - and from it, how Adam would make the ground to meet her.
Adam, who made the ground, because he was compelled.
Who then, the pencil, who the stage? The misconceived theory that Eve was perhaps the earth, and the mud from whom Adam rose up. However do we remember, on the other side of the black hole, is time beginning once again — or backwards.
Thus we might then ask, perhaps it comes down to effort, and what might be the greater one. Adam to travel east? Or Eve in the garden.
Which, the greater endeavor — to venture boldly? Or stay where it is home.
Neither however, that exists without the other. The venture without the destination, or the destination without the place from where one begins.
When then, is the beginning? Before the Before, that occurred before there was an Eden.
And is Eden, true home? Yet what is Eden without Adam? Eve otherwise a desert, from which would come no human race.
Thus in the desert, did form a water, though the desert would not easily yield the answer. Who came first, and did it matter. Female the murky and Adam to lend the solid? Yet Eve who too had ribs, otherwise could there be no womb.
Solid vs not-solid, the elemental states. Solid vs not-solid, that underlies the debate, Male vs Female.
Earth, the stage made for us to understand that.
The Universe, the oceanic sky, from which the Earth formed. For two, who had been drifting for eons, and would infinitum otherwise. Earth thus, where thus they landed. Earth created for that reason - for Two.
Two to materialize, Male and Female. Each a bit solid, and some liquid too. Bones, flesh, blood. Each, in their proportions, composition, indispensable to the other.
Thus why Land, and not Ocean? Why do we speak now of Pangaea, and not say, Pan-Ocean?
In the ocean, where we would not have formed the ribcage, or the spine and legs and arms to walk the ground that thumps and thuds, in resonating drum and bass. Land which lends the tenor, weight, and the gravity.
Ocean that softens and mellows, that we become not mere blunt instruments. Water that nurtures, and let’s us glide. Water mutable, including to sometimes give us stage, indeed to walk or skate, or Jesus to perform a miracle.
Jesus, the male, who walked upon it — the element capable of both liquid and solid.
Jesus, because we misunderstood Adam and the mud, and Pangaea that survived the ice age.
Mary who understood the moment correctly. Jesus and Mary, like all males and females, comprised of both elemental states, differently in their bodies. Each equally dependent on the other.
Solid and not-solid, the fundamental misconcpetion and mystery, and by extension, the debate of Male “versus” Female across the human eras.
That each sex contains both, and one neither capable of existing with out the other, is the answer to the miracle at Galilee. The answer that also says, Land prevailed as the primary stage of the human, because it is the furthest expression from the beginning, when there was no solid matter, or any matter to begin with.
Thus in Genesis itself, Day One which is diffuse, lacking material form. Day Two, separating the waters from the waters. Day Three in which a solid land forms — and when and where humans are first indicated to begin.
Thus does solid land, as it turns out, not indicate Adam as superior to Eve. If this were true, Jesus would not have found an ice path to Mary Magdalene. Nor Mary Magdalene the same. Each amazed, at elemental states, liquid and solid. Each the fallen, each the stage. Each the destination of the other, each that therefore journeyed, their own way.
Each, equally seeking the other, and thus the human race.
Adam simultaneous to Eve, and vice verse. The murky details of who came first, the ones we are fine with not knowing. The details both inscrutable and vast, that is the time and place Before the Before.
The details without which, nothing of the world would we have today. The nothing we wouldn’t even be here to contemplate.
Yet the everything that we have instead, including the choice to destroy it.
The everything that now comes down to the press of a button.
All of life, and the human race, so easily able to be destroyed. Thus begging the question: why? Why, if just to throw it all away.
Why, the question the world has asked of Eve. The Fall of mankind, we believed came from that moment.
The moment, we never thought to consider, if we understood incorrectly. Or if the question Why, was misapplied. To the wrong point in the timeline. Eden that is not the beginning.
And what came first, really? The moment Eve reached for the fruit? The forbidden fruit we attribute to just one.
Yet the Bible does not state the quantity of fruit. Perhaps the question was not whether Eve picked a fruit at all. Perhaps it was that she picked just one. Was that then, the moment of downfall? The picking of just one?
The tree, however, did not present itself to Eve, alone. Adam who had traveled far to arrive to Eden; Adam was at the tree, too.
The tree, that does not grow where the ground collapses. Adam who rose from mud, not drowned within it.
The tree, though capable of many fruit, still does not grow where mud and muck, can be confused with ocean. Ocean where multiplies the creatures, who swim.
Thus the question we never asked, what about Adam? Adam who saw the bounty of the Garden. Adam who asked himself, how did it come to be?
Adam who wanted such a knowledge, and if fruit meant knowledge, would not more fruit, mean more knowledge also? More knowledge on how to make more trees, more fruit, and more garden.
Eve who also saw the Garden, plenty and bountiful. Both, who wished to fill it, but with more than just plants. Both who wished to fill it with their presence, i.e., more like themselves.
The question however, how. How could there be more, like themselves?
And why did they want that? Did the garden beckon that want into existence? The Garden full of plenty, bountiful. Who would blame it then, for setting such a stage.
Or was the Garden formed, because of a want that came before? And if so, by the want of being surrounded by plants and animals only?
Plant and animals that do not question their presence, or how more of them arrive.
Only humans who do — as they should. How they should continue. The question that should come with some self-reflection.
As we have interpreted the story in the millennia since: Eve who picked the apple, thus Eve who precipitated the fall.
In that same long time, what we failed to consider: Eve, who not only picked an apple, but picked only one. One that was not a downfall, but a choice.
Why then, did we interpret that so negatively?
Eve, and all women, who experience pain and labor in childbirth.
The pain we’ve misinterpreted as proof of guilt, and being the accursed. The pain however, somewhere along the way, we stopped remembering as one and the same as the labors. The labors to produce just one.
Animals by contrast that reproduce effortlessly, and often multiple times in one revolution around the sun. The difference, setting apart Adam and Eve, from the innocent creatures, unaware of themselves.
We ask again, about Adam. What did he choose? Did he choose one too?
The unsaid answer in Genesis that caused many to speculate. Thus came the many books of the Old Testament, and its many trials, wars, recriminations, and more trials.
From the desert thus did a miracle appear, and Jesus who seized it. Jesus who walked upon the water - the waters that turned solid, and frozen, in the moment he did so. Jesus who made the great leap — and then did the path form.
Why he did so, the same unspoken by Adam.
For one, out of a field of plenty.
One that chooses another. And equally, simultaneously, the other the same.
Two who come together. Two able to bring forth one.
One, the blessed outcome of two.
However, why Eve who picked the fruit? Why not Adam?
For the simplest of reasons. Eve, of the sex that carries the child. Eve, by the composition of her body, in her proportions solid vs liquid. By them, Eve the one formed to carry forth life.
Yet Eve who could not do so without Adam. The two who felt ashamed, but only for being the first — the newness of being the first. What plants and animals did without thinking, Adam and Eve who did so, with reflection.
Why then, Adam and Eve? Why the garden, that compelled a question.
The question, as Jesus knew it, if we remembered a time long time ago. Mary, who said, I remember the same.
A time long before the Garden existed. A time that foreshadowed it would exist any ways.
A time when the “pencil” fell in one direction.
The fall, in one direction. And one who fell, and the other did too.
Why, out of a field of plenty, for the simplest of reasons.
Mary, from the other side of the frozen water.
Jesus who reached out in return. To say what Adam did not, though he wished to.
To speak of a time before words. A time, and moment, inscrutable and vast.
Before the Before, and why it began.
The why, of we are here now. To love - to find the single other.
Love is the answer.